Serenity Now! Not just surviving the holidays but thriving through them and life

The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming….oh no, they are here. Are you ready? More importantly, are you ready to thrive through this holiday season?

For some the holiday season brings thoughts of joy while to others, it bring thoughts of stress. If only it was as easy as yelling “Serenity Now!” the iconic Frank Constanza (Senfield) to reduce your stress. One good thing that this clip brings me every time I see it is laughter, an important element to reducing one’s stress.

For me, I really enjoy the holidays. I love getting out the traditional items which have been shared with my family for years. It allows me to remember them and appreciate my family’s history. But like many others, I also have a tendency to try to do too much to have the house “just so”. The hidden Martha Stewart comes out and my self-expectations begin to inflate. That is when I have to take a step back and realize I’m “Marta” Stewart (as someone close in my life use to call me – Marta means lady and strong). Strong is what I need to be through the holidays, especially to say “no” to over-demands and to pause, stay in the moment and enjoy it.

Holidays demands and expectations can also highlight or worsen chronic conditions. Do you have a plan in place to protect yourself and your loved ones during this time of the year? Here are some tips which are good for obtaining total health – mind, body and spirit during the holidays.

Mind set

• Attitude. A positive attitude goes a long way to helping your emotional well-being. Try to think about the holidays as a positive, a time to be with friends and family. Spend some time thinking about what it means to you to thrive during the holidays.
• Acceptances and forgiveness. One way to help with your attitude is to practice acceptance and forgiveness – you probably will not be able to change the family member or friend who pushes your buttons (heck, they probably installed those buttons for you) but you can change how you respond. Forgiveness isn’t about accepting their behavior. It is about releasing you from the pain and setting yourself freeing to move from the past into the present. Try refocusing yourself to do something else. Offer to take the kids outside to play a game to remove yourself from the situation. This might help you create the holiday memories you would like to have.
• Gratefulness. Be grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life. Gratitude has been shown to be related to one’s life satisfaction and well-being. Try giving back in some way. Share your smile with someone, compliment a stranger, give food, money or your time to help out in your community.

Balance

• Put yourself first. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. If you have a chronic condition, you need to take this time to care for yourself. Develop a plan and don’t try to do it all yourself. Give yourself permission to ask for help when you need it. taking a bath or going for a short walk with something like a walking mediation. Self care is especially important during the Holidays. Do something YOU enjoy or brings YOU relaxation. It's a well known fact you can't care for others unless you care for yourself first.
• Set realistic expectations. Create a budget, and don't spend more than you've planned. Set new the expectations, like that you’re going to laugh, every day. Think about how you might fit in fitness during you this busy time of year as exercising can help to reduce stress. To assess your stress take a stress assessment.
• Be mindful of what you are eating. One of the biggest mistakes is to not eat before an event in the hopes of “saving up” calories. When you show up starved your control is diminished and overeating/drinking happens quite easily. To help try identifying what foods are important to you and your associate with the holidays. Ask yourself, it will not be Thanksgiving without what? Focus on having a little bit of those favorite foods. This way, your time is spent eating what you really enjoy and not everything else trying to avoid them. There are some foods which are actually good for you which are featured during the holidays. Maybe one of your must-haves is on the list.

Most importantly, get support if you need it. Holidays can sometimes trigger depression. They can be especially hard if you are already dealing with the death of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship. Grief is a universal experience. All people grieve sometime during their life, for everyone has losses of some kind which are the primary cause of grief. It is important to realize that grief is not a weakness, nor lack of faith, but a psychological necessity. It's cathartic and therapeutic, and provides important insights for you. Learn about the resources available to you. Talk, email or call your health care provider about services that might be available to support you.

 “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” 

― Maya Angelou